Keeping Finances Separate

When F and I get married we plan on keeping the majority of our finances separate. While I believe in joint accounts for joint expenditures I also think it is healthy to have your own money. I'm especially comfortable with this because we are both budgeters and careful with our money (to be honest he is better at staying within budget than I am).

So when I say the title of Laura Rowely's column, Keeping Finances Separate Can be Costly, I immediately read it. The article states:

Young professional couples are more likely to keep their financial lives separate -- and are also more likely to fight, practice financial infidelity and have financial regrets, according to a recent survey by American Express.

This was surprising to me, my assumption being that if finances are separate you would fight less about money. The article goes on to talk about the survey:

Ginita Wall, CPA and financial planner in San Diego specializing in divorce, says she's not surprised by the findings. "You would think if their finances were separate, couples wouldn't fight about money, but what happens is they never have an opportunity to talk about mutual goals," says Wall, co-founder of the nonprofit Women's Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org). "So one of them will set a goal to save for a bigger house while the other may think new golf clubs are more important -- and they are off to the races fighting about money." Nearly one in five of young professionals regretted not discussing financial goals and expectations earlier.

Makes sense, and is actually a relief since F and I talk about our budgets and our money regularly. While we still have to sit down and figure out some long term financial goals for ourselves (i.e. should our next big savings goal be for a down payment or something else), I'm in no way worried about having this conversation. Like I mentioned before, if you are saving for a joint goal, like a down payment, that should be a combined account. However, when I'm saving for a new toy like an iphone that is not a joint account item. F should not have to pay for that. In fact the article goes on to say:

Klontz says he often sees a hybrid approach, where couples "strike a balance between financial autonomy and financial interdependence," he notes, in which they contribute to a joint checking or savings account for major household expenses and goals, while maintaining separate accounts as well. "Merging finances together works great as long as there is honesty, joint sharing of power and control and financial integrity, for example, paying bills on time. Without these safeguards in place, one or both partners can be at significant financial risk."

However you decide to hand your finances when you married or become life partners, communication is key because like your priorities, your money is not longer just about yourself.