Financial Discussions to Have Before Marriage

While I was reading an article about annuities in the New York Times online I happened to glance over at the "most popular - your money" and saw and article called "Your Money: Money Talks to Have Before Marriage". Because of the combination of my pending nuptials and my love of personal finance I ended up clicking on it before I even finished what I was reading.

I've always been a big believer that in a relationship financial compatibility is just as important as every other type of compatibility. Of course, it is also one that is often ignored. F and I often talk about money. I'm pretty open about my financial situation with people I care about so it didn't take us long into our relationship to begin talking about money, but we are far from perfect.

The article goes into four main things that should be discussed: ancestry, credit, control and affluence.

Ancestry is about our pasts and our relationships with money. Money is an ingrained part of our capitalist society that is not often talked about. Having this first conversation helps your partner understand where you are coming and vice versa. F and I may not have talked about this as deeply as the examples in the article, but we have talked about money enough that I'm not stressing over having an "ancestry" talk.

Credit is all about sharing your credit reports (by the way, we should all be checking our credit reports once a year)! While I can't say that I've seen F's credit report I do know that he has a higher credit score than I do, and because of my mortgage I also have a lot more debt than he does.

Control is about who does what financially. This is going to be a tricky one for F and I. When we first moved in together we had to sort through simple issues like when to pay the bills. (I like to pay as soon as I get them, he likes to pay when they are due). In fact, this issue of control is a big one for me and it is mostly why we have no intention of combing all of our finances. I know myself, if we shared everything I would become obsessive over his spending. In my opinion it is better to be honest with each other, but also control our own money and when we do need to share an account (for example when we buy a house or have kids) then we'll take it from there. However, for our sanity we each need to have money that belongs to just us to do with what we want.

Finally, affluence is about asking each other how rich you eventually want to be. This is something F and I haven't really talked about. Though I know he would LOVE to be a stay-at-home dad. I think this is an interesting conversation to have because it helps set your financial goals and what you are willing to do to get them. For example, I'm not willing to work 60 hours a week to make six figures. I'd rather have time to spend with F than money to spend of stuff. (Don't get me wrong though, I plan to be able to spend my life traveling, and eventually retire very comfortably).

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2008 vs 2009 Spending

Last month a commentator asked me to to post dollar amounts of my spending in 2009. I've been thinking about it since then. I used to be more open on my blog, but after having a "blog outing" scare I scaled back on what I actually posted.

However, I've decided that it's okay to post what I spent. I'm not going to post my fixed expenses, but it doesn't hurt to post my liquid expenses.

In 2009 I spent a total of $13,906.65 and in 2008 I spent a total of $11,488.25 in the following categories:

Category	2009	2008
Clothes	$1,022.57	$656.3
Computer/Electronics	$315.65	$377.68
Dining	$2,510.03	$1,654.38
Donation	$132	$338.20
Entertainment	$1,120.99	$926.27
Fees	$168.25	$47.70
Gifts	$1,540.81	$1,541.89
Groceries	$1,278. 59	$1,479.78
Health	$1,151.42	$190
Hobbies	$27.34	$32.44
Household	$794.66	$165.40
Insurance	$291	not recorded
Laundry	$238.22	$20
Media	$149.26	$179.24
Moving	$974.01	$0
Personal Care	$496.44	$468.87
School	$651.24	$0
Sports/Fitness	$189	$675.11
Transportation	$647. 37	$808.09
Vacation	$1,711.90	$1,899.93

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$30 Challenge

I ended up spending $10 over my $30 challenge.

On 1/26 I spent $15 on laundry (planned);

On 1/27 I spent $4 on a frozen dinner meal at the grocery store;

On 1/28 I splurges and spent $7 on pizza; finally

I spent $13 on 1/29 on some wine.

What I've learned is that if I'm hungry after class it doesn't matter if I have food at home, if it can't be made if five minutes I'm going to spend money. Since classes are back in full swing this month I'm heading over to trader joes to stock up on yummy quick meals so I'm not tempted to spend money.

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A Little Stressed About Saving

I am so excited about 2010! There are so many great things happening this year and I just know it is going to be so much fun. However, sadly I'm also a little stressed. These fun things are going to cost a lot of money and saving for two large goals at once can mean trying to figure out the best way to split up my savings. The India trip is coming soon and while my hope is that I can use my tax return money for the trip I'm not going to know how much I'm getting back until March. My goal for this trip, save $2000 more.

The wedding is a whole other beast. Our wedding is going to be big, I've accepted that and I'm excited for it. And since it is on a Friday, who knows, maybe it will end up being smaller than we think. In the meantime though, I'm planning for everyone to show up. Which means planning for 200 people and 20 tables. Most likely it will be less than this, but just in case I want to have the money saved. I feel like it is always better to have money left over than to not have enough. What matters to me is the venue (which we've booked and got a deal on), the dress (bought!), the photography, and a good DJ. At the end of the day this wedding is going to be a big party and I want everyone who can to be up and dancing. =)

What doesn't matter so much to me are the centerpieces, invitations, programs, and other miscellaneous things like that. Don't get me wrong, I want them to look nice, but it is not worth spending money on.

So here is my plan:

• I only need the florist to take care of the bouquets and boutineers and miscellaneous flowers for the family. Besides that if I need other flowers I'm totally okay with fake. I mean, my wedding is in November, it's not like flowers are at their peak then anyway.
• The centerpieces will be candles (see below)*. Between ikea and some discount places I've found online I think I can do this for relatively cheap (about $800 for 20 tables).
• The invitations, I'm doing myself. There are some great templates available online for free and they are exactly what I want. Simple, but elegant. I've never saved an invitation from any wedding and I couldn't tell you what they looked like, so obviously, this is not important to me. I've estimated I can do 150 invitations for just under $400.
• I can make the escort cards, place cards (which will be part of the favors) and table numbers for $50-$75.
• The favors may end up costing us around $500, but again that is for 200 people so it may end up being a lot less.

What is not included in this list are other costs such as transportation for us, bus service to the hotel, gifts for our attendants, etc.

After the money graciously offered by my parents I still think I need to save $5000. F's parents are helping us out too, with the rehearsal dinner and money which will mean having to save less. However, until we know exactly what's what I'm still planning on saving $5000.

So between the India trip and the wedding I need to save (and spend) $7000 in 2010. Yipes. What I find stresses me out is the fact that I didn't get a raise last year, and I don't know what is going to happen this year. And even if we do get a raise, I imagine it will be minimal. My raises come in July, so I have a long time to wait to find out anyway.

To meet this goal I'm letting my emergency fund sit at $7000. I really want to be at $10,000, but my goal in 2010 is to maintain it at $7000. My student loan payments are in deferment since I'm back in school. I've decided to pay the interest but put the rest towards these two goals. I'm also doing the best I can to come at or under budget every month. Hence, $30 until the end of the month post. Staying at/coming under budget has never been easy for me. Instead I tend to go $50 over, no matter what my budget is that month. This is where I'm going to need the support of my readers. I'm probably going to be posting more about how much money I have and trying to say under. I'm allowing myself $680 in liquid expenses. To me liquid expenses include groceries, eating out, additional transportation over my 30 day subway card, entertainment, clothes, etc. My fixed expenses are what they are and include my savings. However, whenever I go over my liquid expenses I pull out of savings to cover it, so it is really important to not go over this year.

It is going to be a tough year for savings, but worth every penny.

*Centerpiece Idea from Project Wedding.

*additional note - I also increased my flex spending and my retirement savings, plus $22 a month towards a charity my paycheck is lower in 2010 than it was in 2009.

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Can I Make it Under Budget?

I have $30 to last me until the end of the month to make it under budget. Can I do it?

I'm pretty sure I have enough food at home that I can make due for the week. We do have plans this weekend, but as I paid for F to go out this weekend, he's paying for me next weekend. I have no plans this week but to continue to recover from my winter session class before classes start again on Thursday. The one thing I do need take care of is laundry, but that should run me about $15 (we send it out and we have a lot). Finally, the money for the remaining bills I have to pay has already been set aside. So this $30 is pure spending money.

I really want to start 2010 off right and not go over budget, especially considering everything I'm saving for this year.

So what do you think? Can I make it?

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The Wedding Dress

After the month of December was incredibly hectic trying to find a venue and date for our wedding, F and I decided that we were not going to do any wedding stuff in January that made us leave NYC on the weekends. Of course, this doesn't mean I would actually stop wedding planning. January has been the month of making appointments for February, save the dates, and wedding dress shopping.

The appointment making and save the dates has been pretty painless, it's the wedding dress shopping that has been a little frustrating.

I started on the 10th at a famous place in NYC known for its tv show. I brought with me a list of 12 wedding dresses that I liked from their website and my excitement. I'm not a girl who has dreamed about her wedding day, in fact I never thought I would get married before I was 30 (it will be 3 weeks before that milestone birthday). But, putting on that first wedding dress was very overwhelming. In fact the whole experience was so overwhelming I sort of lost control of the situation. The consultant was really pushing the trunk show and therefore I barely tried on any of the dresses on my list. In fact, the dress I ended up liking the most was only brought out because my friend asked about it. I also felt like she decided early on that we weren't going to buy and then didn't work very hard to actually listen to me. I left disappointed and frustrated.

The following weekend I went to this place where the gowns are donated and the proceeds given to charity. I love the concept, sadly though they had very few dresses in the styles I really prefer. It did give me a chance to try on a poofy ball gown (which is not me and F knows so saying it here is not ruining things for him). That was fun. =)

I also decided that weekend to go to a more bridal warehouse type of place. I tried on two dresses that I liked, but loved neither of them.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to find something that I LOVE or if I'm going to pick a dress that I like and looks good on me and that I'm happy with. I have an appointment at a place I'm very excited to go to this weekend so I've got my fingers-crossed.

I've also been in the midst of taking a winter session class (it ends Thursday)! So things have felt a little hectic lately. I've been meaning to do a post on wedding costs (it's like everything jumps in price when the word "wedding" is brought up) but it will have to wait until after Thursday like everything else. =)

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Keep Piling On Those Degrees

I would like to thank Moneyapolis for bringing my attention to this Chronicle article, Graduate School in the Humanities: Just Don't Go.

The author, a professor in the humanities, makes the argument that getting a Ph.D in a humanities discipline won't necessarily mean you will end up with a tenure-track job at a prestigious university. In his own words:

in this era of grade inflation (and recommendation inflation), there's an almost unlimited supply of students with perfect grades and glowing letters. Of course, some doctoral program may admit them with full financing, but that doesn't mean they are going to find work as professors when it's all over. The reality is that less than half of all doctorate holders — after nearly a decade of preparation, on average — will ever find tenure-track positions.

I've written about this before, though focusing on master degrees. A topic close to my heart considering I'm currently going for my second one.

What is interesting is that I finished undergrad as a complete lover of humanities. I ended up majoring in English and minoring in Philosophy and Latin. I still believe that studying these disciplines prepared me really well for real life. I left college understanding how to construct a sentence, write a well argued paper, analyze texts, and think critically. All things that have helped me in my career.

However, when it came to graduate school my thoughts turned much more practical. First, I considered law school (never went through with it). Then, I ended up getting an M.A. that actually prepared me to work in a specific field. And now, I probably could not get more practical and the degree I'm obtaining will only increase my job prospects. Most importantly, never once have I regretted any of these decisions. I'm glad I went practical and it's articles like these that help reaffirm my decisions. And who doesn't love that? =)

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Net Worth

I decided it was time to compare my net worth. My net worth has increased 18% from last year at this time.

I know I should be happy with 18%, especially with the financial problems of 2009, but I'm a little bummed it is not higher. However, a steady increase is 100 times better than no increase or a decrease. So here is to a better financial situation in 2010!

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Wedding versus Travel

I'm currently saving heavily for both a wedding and for travel. The traveling will happen in June, the wedding in November. For the travel I'm budgeting $3000, for the wedding I need to save at least $5000 to supplement the generous gift from my parents.

My challenge is how to save for both. I already have $1000 saved for travel (which has already been spent on my plane ticket). So I need to have $2000 in the bank dedicated to this trip before June. Right now I'm putting $200 a month into my travel fund, which will not get me to where I need to be in time. My plan, tax return. This will actually be the first time I'm planning to use the majority of my tax return money on travel. Normally it goes into savings for my Roth IRA. Of course at this point I don't know how much money I'll be getting back. But I know I will get back money. I pay a lot of taxes and pay a lot in interest on my mortgage, so I'm not too worried about getting a return.

If all goes my way and my tax return can be used towards travel I'll pull the $200 I'm contributing towards travel and add it to the $200 I'm putting towards the wedding savings. $400 a month towards wedding savings will go a long way. If I can do that from February to November I'll have $4000 saved. To meet that extra $1000 I'm going to try come below budget every month. This is not something that is easy for me, but I have done it before so I know I can. It is not going to be easy, but saving this money is important and doable. And who knows, maybe I'll actually get a raise in 2010!

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Financial Year In Review

I have yet to write about my financial year wrap up. My fixed expenses are my fixed expenses, so where I try to budget is in my liquid expenses. In 2008 I spent $11,488. In 2009 - $13,906. In my liquid expenses I include the following categories:

Clothes

Computer/Electronics

Dining

Donation

Entertainment

Fees

Gifts

Groceries

Health

Hobbies

Household

Insurance

Laundry

Media

Misc

Moving

Personal Care

School

Sports/Fitness

Transportation

Vacation

Now that I have two years worth of data I can actually do some interesting comparisons. However, before I do so I need to explain how I budget. For me, it all matters when I pay for something, not when it happens. For example I bought my round trip flight to India in December. So that $1000 goes into my 2009 budget, not 2010, even though I'm not going on the trip until 2010.

So here are my observations:

• As in 2008, in 2009 my largest expenditure was eating out. However, in 2009 I spent 34% more than 2008.

• Once again similar to 2008 is that my next largest expenditure in 2009 was gifts, and surprisingly the numbers are only off $1.

• Groceries was third for both years, though I actually spent less on groceries in 2009 than I did in 2008. That sort of explains the increase in dining out.

• My 2009 surprises include how much money I spent on health (over $1000), but to be fair this includes my new glasses. I also spent $300 more on clothes in 2009 than 2008.

• Finally I had some new categories, including school ($647.37) and moving ($974,01).

This comparison makes me feel a lot better about my spending. Yes in 2009 I spent $2418 more than in 2008 on my liquid expenses, however that includes two new categories and having to purchase new glasses. So all in all I'm happy.

I should also talk briefly about my fixed expenses as these went up this year. In 2009 I have my mortgage (my sister pays for the majority of it as rent), my rent, maintenance, Roth IRA, Student Loans, Cable/Internet, Electric, and my phone. The increases were in my maintenance, contributing to a Roth IRA again, and an increase in cable/internet, because in 2008 I only had internet.

What I don't include in my fixed expenses are anything that gets taken out of my paycheck, which includes my 403b contributions and my metro cards.

photo by JohnB49

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2010 Goals

Ahhh 2010, I have great hope for you. By May I'll have my first year of my graduate program and hopefully only have a year and two summers to go. In June I'll be traveling in India and hopefully having an amazing time. Come early November I'll be getting married to an incredible man I'm completely and utterly in love with. And then, a few weeks later I'll be turning 30. Yes, 2010 you are going to be a good year.

But, 2010 you are also going to be a very busy and hectic year. And it all begins on Monday. In January I'm taking a three week course for three credits. In the spring semester I'm taking three classes while working full time. I'll be gone for almost a month traveling this summer and most likely F will be gone the following month. All of this while planning a wedding.

I'm going to have to learn how to prioritize and relax. Most importantly I'm going to have to learn how to control my stress. I pretty much stopped exercising last semester. Most weeks I only ran once, if at all. Yet, running is a great stress reliever for me. Exercise, needs to be a priority. So does my relationship. F also leads a very busy life and so it will be very important that we always make time for each other in the upcoming year.

All of these considerations went into my goals for 2010.

Goal #1: Relax, stress less, and let go of the little things.

Goal #2: Save $10,000 towards retirement between my 403b and Roth IRA. I was only short $1100 last year, so I know I can make this goal this year.

Goal #3: Save and maintain $8,000 in my emergency fund. It is going to be impossible to really build this up while saving for a wedding, so my goal is to maintain an amount that makes me feel comfortable.

Goal #4: Donate at least $25 to charity every month and start volunteering again, even if it is only once a month. To help me maintain this goal I've authorized an automatic deduction from my paycheck every month. $20 will be going to a local charity that helps support the community. The best part, 100% of my donation goes to helping.

Goal #6: Have the money saved for my India trip before I leave. In other words, no credit card debt.

Goal #5: Find time to exercise. Enough said.

Goal #6: Pay for the wedding in cash. In other words, the day after the wedding there should be nothing on my credit card that I can't pay off right away.

Goal #7: Make time for myself and for F.

I have a lot of goals this year, but they are all goals that I believe can be met.

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2009 Goals

There were quite a few bumps in meeting my financial goals in 2009. However, personally it was a great year. I moved in with my boyfriend and then he became my fiance. That in itself makes 2009 my best year yet. However, it was really good in other ways as well. I got into graduate school; I'm loving my classes; work is good and still rewarding/challenging; and overall I'm in a really good place.

However, financially 2009 was tough. The year came and went without a salary increase, even though work got busier. The extra costs of fees and books for school, plus the cost of moving means I spent more this year than last. And, I often felt like I couldn't save as much as I would like too because things always came up (remember when my cell phone and glasses broke within a few weeks of each other).

Things changed a lot for me in 2009 and I did not always update my goals to reflect these changed. My 2009 goals were:

Goal #1: Retirement: Between my company's contribution and my SRA contribute $10,000 to my 403b

Goal #2: Emergency Savings: $10,000 by January 2010.

Goal #3: Return to school for another Masters degree.

Goal #4: Make $100 in supplemental income a month to boost my savings.

Goal #5: Contribute at least $25 a month to charity.

Goal #6: Continue to contribute $20 a month to my boston terrier fund and at least $50 a month to my travel fund.

Here is how I did:

Goal #1: Overall I contributed $8,900 towards retirement. Only $8,550 of that was towards my 403b, the other $350 went into my Roth IRA. I'm disappointed I fell short of this goal, but I'm still happy I managed to contribute so much. When I made this goal I was banking on a pay raise to help meet $10,000 (I contribute a percentage of my salary to my 403b).

Goal #2: Sadly I failed at this as well. My emergency savings is just at $7000. There were many unexpected expenses that came up that meant I could not save as much as I wanted. I am most upset about not making this goal.

Goal #3: DONE!! =)

Goal #4: I actually did this the first two months of the year, but I soon came to realize that the time I spent trying to make that extra $100 was not worth the effort. I really value my downtime and I was losing a lot of that time. This is a goal I gave up on pretty soon into the year.

Goal #5: Sadly, my monetary giving went down quite a bit this year. But I already have a solution to this for 2010 which I'll go into more details about when I write up my 2010 goals. Until school started I was really good about giving my time, but that too stopped come September.

Goal #6: My F (fiance) and I talked about my Boston Terrier fund and decided to disband it. Since we are quite a few years off from being in a place where we can get a dog we decided the money could be better used elsewhere. I put some of this money into a school fees & books fund and the other into a travel fund.

So overall I failed pretty miserably at my goals in 2009. However, it was still a good year and I have high hopes for 2010. With a wedding, it will be tight financially, but hopefully a very rewarding and happy year.

photo by scottwills

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Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!!

regular postings will return tomorrow...

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Merry Christmas

To those of you who celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas!!! To those of you who don't, I hope you are having a very relaxing and restful day!

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Seven New Years Financial Resolutions for 2010

This is a guest post from the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE), a non-profit dedicated to improving the financial literacy of all Americans. NEFE operates the site Smart About Money and have developed a series of articles filled with tips to help you make 2010 the year of financial freedom. You can also find Economic Survival Tips, worksheets and articles focused on financial education related to housing, spending,credit and job change. If you like what you read you can also follow NEFE on Twitter at @nefe_org

1. Control spending: If you spend less you'll have more money available to pay down debt and save for the future. Write down your expenses for a month to see where your money is going. You might be surprised by how easy it is to find places to scale back.

2. Create a debt repayment plan: If you carry credit card debt, write down everything you owe and make a plan to pay it off. Start with small items you can act on right away–it will make tackling the bigger debt easier. Also, try buying with cash only. It’s a sure-fire way to prevent increases in your credit card debt.

3. Set up auto-savings plans: Arrange with your bank or another financial institution to have a set amount deducted from your checking account to a savings account each pay period. Of the Americans who have been able to contribute to emergency savings funds, automatic withdrawal is the most popular method, according to the Consumer Federation of America.

4. Boost retirement savings: If your employer offers a 401(k) plan, increase your contributions. If you don't have an employer plan, open an Individual Retirement Account (IRA) and arrange for contributions to be made automatically from your checking or savings account.

5. Create a long-term plan: Write a list of your long-term goals, such as buying a home or saving for college or retirement. Visit the Life Events section of Smart About Money for concrete tips on accomplishing those goals.

6. Protect Yourself: Be prepared for the unexpected by making sure you, your family, your assets and investments are insured and fully covered. If you do not have a will, make 2010 the year you establish a life plan.

7. Find a financial buddy: Share your financial resolutions with a friend, colleague, or family member, and you’ll be more likely to keep them. Find someone else who wants to turn around their debt or cut their spending, and establish a mutual support system.

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